Thursday, April 14, 2011

SAHD, SAHM or Both/And?

Believe it or not, life as an academic administrator can be pretty sweet. One works a reasonable day's work, takes home a reasonable day's wage. While not extravagant, the lifestyle it affords is also not destitute. At least as a university administrator, I will have ample opportunity to move up and around the university and to maintain a stable income and lifestyle.

In fact, with the credentials in hand (the PhD, holy grail of university credentials), one isn't necessarily brilliant or even smart, but has paid the dues of entry into this unique and (for me) fulfilling world...But then, like many people our age, C and I decide to have a family. Of course, we don't just start slowly with, like, one child, but with two at one go! This isn't Earth-shattering news or even that unique anymore, but it pushes us to consider our post-birth options in a new light.

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

We have basically three options for childcare after our respective employer-sponsored leaves are exhausted: 1) Enroll our kids in daycare--Rice offers a Montessori-style daycare center at a reasonable, though not inexpensive, cost. The Rice daycare offers 7am-6pm coverage for the kids, and is just a couple minutes away from my office, should there ever be an emergency, or if I just want to have lunch with the young ones; 2) Hire a nanny--this would allow us to keep the kids at home longer, expose them to an all-Spanish context during the day, and if we're lucky, have someone at the house who does a bit of cleaning, as well as cooking while we're bringing home the bacon. All this for only a bit more than the cost of two children enrolled at daycare; 3) Stay-at-home parent--one of us could stay home and be with the kiddos until they are of sufficient age to go to school on a regular basis. Traditionally, the mom is the one to "volunteer" to do this, but given certain, ahem, "disparities" in the salaries that C and I take home on a monthly basis, one has to give serious thought to the prudence of such a traditional division of labor. Yes, it would make more financial sense for me to take the hit and be the stay-at-home dad for a few years, and then jump back into things after the kids grow up a bit. There are actually networks for stay-at-home dads (SAHDs), much as there are for SAH moms. It is not an option we have explored too much at this point, but we're both open to the possibility. We think and pray about it regularly, but probably will not make a definitive decision until we have the little boogers in our hands.

I forgot one other option. We could both cut down our work schedules say, to 3 or 4 days a week, covering for one another most of the time, and having a nanny cover the times that neither of us can be home. This would be more complicated, more frustrating, but, perhaps more fulfilling for both of us in some ways. It would, however, require flexibility of mind, body, and spirit that we would both have to grow in to. One more thing in our lives that will change, one way or another...

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