the latest scare

I'm starting to wonder if it would have been better to be preggo before modern medicine is what it is today.  Of course, then I probably wouldn't be preggo.  And, I'll definitely take that back if we spend any time in the NICU. 

So, here's how this week unfolded.  Monday was another doc appointment.  This with my regular doc.  Heartbeats look good, fluid looks good, everything looks good...wait, well, looks like the umbilical cord for Baby A (girl) is tethered to the membrane (or wall of the sac, I can't remember).  Doc says, "She doesn't seem to be bothered by it, so I think it's okay.  I'll let Dr. A know since she's the specialist and see what she says."  Either doctor attitude makes all the difference or I'm actually learning a little something about not worrying.  We left that appointment and I more or less forgot about the little piece of information. 

Wednesday, hubby is now out of the country for work and I'm getting these funny feelings in my gut that take my breath away, sort of make me gasp for a second.  There's no pain, they don't happen often, so I'm relatively relaxed about it, but figure I should probably call the doc since I don't have another appointment for a couple weeks.  So, after a marathon work meeting, I give the doc a ring.  He says, "Don't worry about that, unless it gets annoying to you, it's just fine.  If it becomes more frequent, let me know.  But...I want to talk to about the umbilical cord.  I spoke with Dr. A and she wants to see you as soon as possible, like tomorrow.  She wants to check it out to see if you need to have fetal surgery.  Can you make an appointment for tomorrow?"  Uh, yeah!  Did I mention that the hubby is out of the country?  Deep breath.  Call Dr. A.  Schedule appointment for Thursday (today).  Attempt to not freak out.  Eat ice cream. 

Let me pause to say that the hubby has been fantastic in going with me to pretty much all of my appointments, but unfortunately has been tied up with work during the two big stress days (see the first here).  He might need to quit his job so these don't happen anymore...

I tried not to stress too much and remind myself that it's probably been like this for awhile and everything is moving along fine.  At least, if my belly is any indicator, those little ones are growing!  But, of course, in the back of my mind is the big scary word: surgery. 

I was Dr. A's first patient after lunch today and she carefully inspected Baby A and Baby A's umbilical cord and it looked to be moving around freely everywhere.  She bounced the kiddo around to make the cord move and it appeared to be okay.  So, she went on to check all the rest of the bones and organs while she was at it just to be sure that everything is progressing properly.  She gave me a big green light, everything looks good.  It was probably just because the cord sits really close to the membrane and that's what the doc saw.  Whew.  Yay!  I thought I would go back to work if I wasn't getting whisked away to the operating room, but as I walked out of the building discovered that although I sighed a big sigh of relief, I was wiped.  Probably better for my clients that I don't do work when I'm not full throttle, right?  :)

the kicking has begun!

Feeling the babies move around has definitely lived up to all the hype so far.  My mom said that she didn't feel any of her 3 kids until we each hit 20 weeks.  Like clockwork, Baby A and Baby B have made their movements known right at 20 weeks.  A lawyer on one of my projects told me that she could always feel her kids kick after drinking a glass of orange juice.  We weren't trying that theory out on purpose, but when I definitely knew what I was feeling was the babies and the hubby got to feel it, too, I noticed that I had just downed a glass.  It's interesting to me how some of this pregnancy business is fairly universal.  

I am not a baby-crazy mama.  Babies are a lot of work with very little payoff.  I'm more of a kiddo kind of gal.  I want them to be curious, interact, play, go to the bathroom alone and wipe themselves...  I do believe that the maternal instinct is very strong and realize I might become baby-crazy about my babies when they arrive.  In any case, as hard as we've tried to get to this point, I can't say that I'm perfectly happy about all the sacrifices and entirely enraptured by every little baby-related event.  Of course I'm overall overjoyed, but it's also not difficult for me to ignore my belly and focus on something else for awhile.  I have to admit, though, that I have been waiting for the moment that I knew for sure I was feeling the little kiddos kick and move.  I have had a few sensations over the past few weeks that might have been "kicks" (which is a generic term for all the movement we feel).  I have found myself longing for confirmation that I am feeling the babies moving.  So, this has been a wonderful, and highly-anticipated new experience.  Fortunately for the hubs, he laid his hand on my belly and also felt the babies move so we both got to share in the joy.  It's pretty incredible.  Excuse me while I go pay attention to the little guys pounding on their mama.

20 weeks!!

Halfway there!!  (even more since we'll deliver early). 

Woo hoo!!

the right and better way

This post is only tangentially related to babies and parenting, but I'll attempt to connect the dots, anyway...

So, I'm half German.  I'm also half Chinese (read Tiger Mom).  These two cultural influences combine to result in an irrepressible characteristic of pointing out to others the right and better way.  I am still trying to make up to friends for a lifetime of obnoxiously giving unwarranted advice on how they could really improve their lives...

I have been working lately on suppressing this natural urge, with varied success.  One such opportunity recently emerged when someone in my parking garage started parking in a highly coveted parking area in our garage.  Every day, this driver of an enormous truck, something like an F99950 would park so that she (I saw who the culprit was one day, fortunately for her I was tied up and didn't have the opportunity to be sassy to her face) would not only occupy her allotted space, but so that she would block another space.  ARGH!  Seriously?!  I won't even get on my soap box about driving such a vehicle, but if you're going to drive it, either learn to park in ONE space or go park on a higher level where there are spaces a-plenty.  Deep breath.  For days, I did nothing.  Even when I was too late for one of the coveted spaces and forced to re-enter the garage and circle higher and higher for another space.  I resisted the urge to leave a note on her windshield advising her of the right and better way.  The courteous and non-selfish way.  People, you do realize that when you drive to the front of the line and cut in or park in 2 spaces, etc. that you're being selfish, right? 

And then, a most wonderful thing happened.  I arrived one morning to discover that she parked in between the lines in a space without blocking a second space!!  Alleluia!  I thought to myself, an opportunity for positive reinforcement.  So, I left her a note that said, "Thank you for only taking up one space!"  I am happy to report that since then, she has always parked in one space.  Now, someone else may have advised her of the right and better way, or she might have taken a driving/parking course.  But, maybe there's also a lesson here for this mother-to-be about positive reinforcement.

charley horse!!

OK, so how come nobody told me about these?!?!?!!!  My blissful slumber was RUDELY interrupted this morning by a TERRIBLE pain in my right calf.  I couldn't move my leg.  So, I rolled my body out of bed (which, btw, is quite a sight to see in and of itself because I essentially toss my legs over the side of the bed to use as leverage to catapult my upper body up from its horizontal pose).  Mind you, my right leg is not exactly being cooperative in this maneuver.  A couple stretches is all it ended up taking to make the pain tolerable.  Of course, there was no going back to sleep at that point.  So, I turned to my trusty, middle-of-the-night companion, the internet.  And I even had something to research!  Turns out, for all you prospective mothers out there, leg cramps are pretty darn common during your second and third trimester.  Inexplicable, but common.  Most of the weird, physical changes that I've experienced I've been able to chalk up to some sort of evolutionary or beneficial-for-the-babes rationale.  This one, though, I got nothing.  I see no redeeming value whatsoever.  Well, except that now I have a good excuse to go get a massage...

belly wars

So, I'm learning that moms are funny creatures.  And, I'll admit, I tend to run in pretty type-A, competitive circles, so I shouldn't be too surprised when those characteristics shine in my friends.  I've started to notice a very funny (to me, at least) thing...the belly wars.  While I feel somewhat terrified of this ever-increasing and physically uncomfortable abdominal circumference (a new term I learned from the technician who measured Baby A's and B's guts, how PC), I've noticed that it is also a source of bragging rights among mamas.  The lady friends of mine that tend to be the most competitive (which can be a source of strength, don't get me wrong) look at me and say, "your belly's not that big".  I can't remember if they actually say or if I just imagine them also saying, "Mine was SO much bigger."  Like growing a belly is a competition.  Mind you, this is a competition I'm happy to NOT win--back pain!  But, I do know a few non-pregnant people I could enter in my stead... I should probably give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are just trying to be nice and make me feel skinny or something by saying that my belly isn't so big.  Fortunately, I don't have any image issues with the bulging belly (at least not yet) and have avoided the urge to get competitive about my girth.  When it comes to tee-ball, though, watch out, cuz my kids are totally going to smoke your kids.

Week 19 ultrasound

Is it too early to start embarrassing our children in front of all of our friends and family?  This is a little like sending out bathtime bubbles photos or videos of the infants running around sans diapers.  If they scroll through our blog in the future like we look through old photo albums, I can already hear the teenage, "Oh, Mom, REALLY?!?!  How embarrassing!!"

I think this seals it, though.  One of each!

highway to heaven

I'm starting to be much more aware of the danger of driving.  Perhaps this is because I'm preggo and about to turn into the protective mother who will risk everything to save her young.  I'm starting to think that instinct is strong. 

One of my friends, who is preggo with her second, was rear ended with her first kiddo in the car.  Nothing major everyone was okay, but she was understandably very shaken.  Fortunately, she was going to the doctor that day anyway so she could get checked out to be sure it didn't have any affect on her pregnancy.  Just yesterday, the hubby and I saw a van veer off the side of the road and run into a pole on Rice campus.  Poor guy destroyed his car (and the pole).  Thank goodness there wasn't a mama taking her babies on a stroll down the sidewalk!  This morning, a woman (with her phone in her hand) came driving the wrong way down a one-way street right toward oncoming traffic.  She probably drove 3 blocks without realizing she was coming straight towards us (maybe she thought we were all in the wrong place, but somehow I think it was because she wasn't paying attention).  It all is making me vividly aware of the danger of the roads.

I know what many of you are thinking: Honey, you are one of the most aggressive drivers I know.  Yeah, yeah.  I know.  I happen to think I'm also a very safe driver because I'm always alert to what other drivers are doing out there.  OK, there's a little bit of rationalizing there, but anyway...  I'm starting to think about the danger of the roads.  What if I get more distracted by 2 little ones in the backseat?  What if I have more things on my mind now and don't react as quickly to a distracted driver veering in the wrong direction? 

So, my preaching for today: remember that you're operating the number one killer of kids under 15 when you get in your car.  Please don't drive distracted.  Do it for the kiddos in your backseat and for the kiddos in the other cars around you.  You (and I) might think you (and I) have everything under control, but looks like we all need to be more careful out there.

You don't want to be this guy:

My apologies for the unfun, preachy post.  It won't happen again...very often.

bumbos and boppies and snoogles, oh my!

I think we've already entered the land of baby talk.  Thanks to a multiples community board that I'm a member of, we're getting some great gear at bargain prices.  Amazingly, the 3 purchases I've made so far have also been only a couple minutes from our house.  Today, I asked the hubby what he thought about getting some used bumbos and a boppy all at about 1/4 the price of new.  His response, "Yes, yes!  I'm not completely sure what a boppy is...as compared with a bumbo...but I appreciate that we need both at some point."

For those without kids, the bumbos I'm getting are not rum drinks, but chairs to help teach infants to sit.

A boppy is a pillow that you can use for nursing, tummy time, or just dropping junior in while you go have a bumbo.  For years, it has been voted "the #1 product Moms can't live without" by American Baby readers.

 

All this talk about bumbos and boppies got me thinking about some of the funny names for baby products we're beginning to add to our vocab.  Snoogle is probably one of our faves.  It's another pillow, but this time for mama.  My sis-in-law and fearless leader into the world of twins graciously let me borrow hers knowing that trying to get comfortable at night is one of the greatest challenges to a twin-preggo (maybe any preggo) mama.  This is pretty much how I sleep with the snoogle at night:

10:30-11:30

11:30-midnight

midnight-1 [repeat]

Some of the other fun product names we've encountered:  Pee-Pee Teepee, Boudreaux's Butt Paste (this was our very first baby gift courtesy of the other side of the family), The Snot Sucker, a Snuzzler, the Hooter Hider (hubby's fave) and perhaps the all-time winner: My Brest Friend.

I've provided the links to the products so you know I'm not making this stuff up. 

how are you feeling?

That's the question people seem to ask the most.  Fortunately, for the most part, I feel fine.  Just little things every once in awhile, but really, pretty good. Mostly, I just feel fat.

Another interesting question I got was what do I miss the most.  I think they thought I would say alcohol or sushi.  Probably because for 3 years, each month that we received confirmation that we were not meant to be parents (at the time), we would go out for a wonderful dinner of sushi and vino.  Mmmmmm.  Really, what I miss most, though, is exercise.  Or even activity in general.  Hard to believe, but I've started slowing my life down a little.  I'm now even home a couple evenings a week!  I also watch the tube from time to time.  Shocking, I know.  Although yesterday it gave me a headache after just an hour.  How do people do it?

I have now gone swimming a couple times since that's the only exercise my conservative doc allows me to do.  It is heavenly.  In part because I get to do a little exercise.  In part because being pregnant in the pool is the most comfortable place to be.  My fertility doc's first question when he found out we were having twins in September (therefore suffering through the Houston August when I will be too big to move) was "do you have a pool?"  "No..."  "You might want to put one in!"  Now I know what he was talking about.  And it's not even unbearably hot, yet.  Nor am I unbearably big, yet.  A friend of a friend took a horse trough and rolled it into their backyard for summer soaking.  We might need to look into that...

Pool party, anyone?

happy mother's day

When does one actually become a mother?... 

Shout out to my hubby who brought me breakfast in bed today.  It was absolutely delish. 

French toast with jicama (unpictured is Greek yogurt with strawberries and orange juice).  He's a keeper!

We sort of celebrated.  It was a tough call.  Our first pregnancy in 2008 was shortly before Father's Day and the hubby even received a couple wonderful Father's Day gifts from friends and family.  Our celebrations in 2008 were a little premature...  This pregnancy is totally different, but we're still a little wary. 

Nevertheless, it has been wonderful to be pregnant this Mother's Day.  For the past few years, Mother's Day has been a beautiful day to celebrate my mom, but in some ways tinged with sadness.  At our church, we honor mothers and give out roses to the moms of the most kids (grandkids, greats, etc.), single moms, new moms, and the moms who have been moms the longest.  It's a wonderful celebration.  Then, we pray for moms.  In the prayer, my pastor has consistently included prayers for the people for whom Mother's Day is a difficult day.  For those for whom Mother's Day is a reminder of loss.  For those for whom Mother's Day is a reminder of unfulfilled hopes and dreams.  That used to be me.  My heart still aches for all the ladies out there who struggle with fertility.

I didn't stand up when all moms were asked to stand.  I won't think of myself until a mom until these little guys are born.  But, I'm one step closer.  Next year, God willing, I will be standing.  And holding a rose.

Happy Mother's Day, moms!!

sacrificing cybil

So, just when I started getting used to the idea of trading in Cybil (see end of this post), mostly because although I can fit the car seats in the back, not so sure about a double stroller.  Definitely not in the trunk, so it would have to fit in the passenger seat...yeah...  In any case, I was teetering on the edge of deciding to go ahead and pull the trigger, then God sent me home yesterday with this weather:

And, for anyone who hasn't experienced the joy of a convertible, that's precisely the experience you want.  Going home on a Friday afternoon, warm sun on your skin, not a cloud in sight, slight breeze, good tunes, top down...  [sigh]

books

I have always enjoyed reading.  I started wearing glasses at the ripe age of 8 - at the time kids glasses were undoubtedly not cool and I was the first in my class, maybe the whole elementary school to wear glasses.  This was probably due in part to my trying to read anywhere and everywhere, including in the car at night waiting until the next streetlamp to catch the next sentence.

It seems that the authority of the Books has replaced the wisdom of prior generations and communities in sharing information related to the adventure of bearing and rearing children.  I know that my mother has lamented with her friends and family across the Atlantic that young parents often ignore the advice of their parents (who obviously have some experience and with their genes) and rely more heavily on the sacred Books.  So, this one doesn't seem limited to my immediate circles, which, admittedly often have their own unique ways.

Naturally, I have acquired numerous of said Books.  There has always been a stack of books on my bedside table at least half a dozen high.  Right now, the stack is predominately borrowed Books.  Here's a taste of some of the Books on my nightstand.

Although I'm a bookworm at heart, I am not a biology/medicine person.  The supposed Bible of motherhood is:

 

We were loaned this book immediately after we mentioned our first pregnancy in 2005.  I think I read about 2 paragraphs before getting overwhelmed with uninteresting information and passed it over to my dear hubby to read and give me the Cliff's Notes version.  This probably helps explain my difficulty with the NT scan.  When it comes to medicine, I don't really want to know about all the things that could possibly go wrong.  I prefer to be on a need to know basis.  Tell me what is going on and let me blissfully ignore any other possibilities.  OK, so this one has migrated to the hubby's nightstand, but I can't write about the Books without including this one.

There have been a few Books that I have enjoyed.  I have focused mostly on books specifically for parents of twins since I have fewer live resources to rely on.  One of my particular faves is:

This was a hilarious read with very candid comments about this mom's experience.  She also gave some wonderful practical advice for dealing with the insanity that is to come. 

A friend in one of my book clubs just gave me a bag full of interesting-looking reads.  Here are two that I'm looking forward to:

I have also read from cover to cover and have given to the hubby to read the following other sacred gem.  Even after reading it, I'm still pretty intimidated by the thought of feeding and sleep synchronizing TWO babies when we've never even tried with one...

Even though I am cruising through many of the Books, I do think that most of my advice is coming from women I know that have gone before me.  Last night at book club, the resounding advice was, read all the Books, then forget what they said and figure out what works for your kid(s).  I definitely stayed up way past my bedtime soaking up all of the advice and wisdom that my friends had to offer.  Since I happen to think my mom did a pretty fantastic job and has the goods to prove it, I hope to benefit from lots of her wisdom, too!  After all, it takes a village.  I wonder what it takes to raise two?...

the nursery

We've made some significant progress.  We try to tackle one thing each weekend on our to-do list that gives us a sense of accomplishment, like we're moving forward rather than just treading water.  Strange how the list keeps getting longer.  Alas.  This past weekend, it was nursery furniture.  We purchased 2 cribs and a dresser, all assembly required.

 Here we are at the beginning stages of the dresser, the cribs are in the boxes against the wall.

Ta-da!!  Dresser/changing table complete.  We were quite proud of ourselves.  Partly for getting the thing together without drawing any blood or smashing any toes and no extra pieces.  And partly for not ending up with one of us throwing a monkey wrench and storming out of the room.  Maybe there is something to almost 8 years of marriage...

Now we just need to start looking into childbirthing, feeding, rearing classes, hospital tours, interviewing night nannies, investigating childcare options, figuring out whether/where to do a babymoon [fade out]...

sleeping like a baby

So, not to brag or anything, but the only real pregnancy issue that I've had is incredible fatigue.  During the first trimester, I think all I did was sleep, go to work, sleep, eat dinner, and sleep some more.  Which, for someone as active as me, was a major life change.  I haven't had morning sickness or any major food cravings or aversions.  Some headaches and congestion (who knew pregnancy can cause sinus congestion?!), but I've always had those, so hard to blame on pregnancy.  Well, I have had some forgetfulness, or at least, when "necessary" I blame that on being pregnant.  :) 

But, the fatigue has been overwhelming.  Now that I'm entering the second trimester, it is getting better.  I do, however, still "sleep like a baby".  Which, to me, means that I often get up at least once during the night to go to the bathroom.  And I also wake up (often around 3am) when my stomach is empty and after a big glass of milk, fall back into a deep slumber.  This sometimes even means getting up in the morning for breakfast and being so overwhelmed by sleepiness after my bowl of cereal that I sleep for another hour or so.  Did I mention that I also nap at the office after lunch?  I feel a little bit like I'm getting a taste of what the little ones will go through.  Perhaps it's also training for middle of the night feedings and catnaps whenever I can sneak one in.

Since I'm now sleeping more, I'm sure the hubby (who comes from a long line of good sleepers) is enjoying the extra hours of sleep.