Monday, July 22, 2013

sibling rivalry

I have learned a LOT with having boy/girl twins that might not have been apparent to me with singletons or with only having children of one gender.  See here and here, for instance. 

One other thing that has been interesting to me, both in observing the VassariƱos and in our reaction to them has been the different ways that they have developed.  Everyone says that girls develop faster than boys and for us, in most cases, that has been the case.  Sylvia has many more words than Rafa, she counted first, she knows her colors and shapes, she has started learning the alphabet, etc., etc.  Probably with any siblings, it's hard not to compare them, but I think it's particularly hard with twins. 

I'm not worried about Rafa, don't get me wrong.  He'll learn at his own rate.  His personality is also more of an observer and hers is of a pleaser, so I definitely think he knows more than he lets on.  Plus, he surprises us from time to time.  For instance, we sing Jesus Loves Me before bed every night.  Sylvia babbled along very early when she started being verbal.  Over time, she has picked up more of the "words" and sings along.  Rafa was content letting us serenade him.  Then, one day, he decided to jump in and sang just about every "word".  I use quotes because I don't think that have a clue what the words mean, but they imitate the sounds.  So, who really knows what's going on in their brains, anyhow.

We definitely try to focus on embracing the different wonderful things about each one.  As they're the same age, though, it's a challenge sometimes to not always think that they need to keep up with each other on everything.  And yet, it's also a challenge not to teach to the top.  When we're reading to both kids at the same time, it's so tempting to always keep talking with Sylvia more and more as she responds to every question.  And, since she likes to answer for her brother, it's also hard to try to get Rafa to interact and participate rather than just relying on Sylvia to answer for him.

I'm sure we'll face even greater challenges in the future as they continue to develop into different people with different strengths and weaknesses as we learn to cherish their individuality and help them learn healthy ways to be proud of themselves while being inspired by others.


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