manners

D and I are big proponents of teaching our kids manners. Possibly a little OCD about it. Sometimes I wonder whether the words themselves are so important when my child is clearly exhibiting the desired attitude. But then I still make them say, "please."

So, our hearts melted yesterday when our nanny was leaving for the evening and Rafa shouted out, "Thank you for the surprises!" (She had brought little birthday gifts.)

Ever since teaching please and thank you, Rafa either 'got it' faster when to say thank you or he just was better at remembering to do it. I excitedly think he might really understand what gratitude is, although of course he wouldn't label it. I'm not as certain about Sylvia. She might just say it because she's a rule follower. Of course, it may just be that Rafa has better identified the group of settings when we give thanks and really not be grateful within.

Whatever the motivation, even if it's just a rote expression, we hope that we have already laid some groundwork for recognizing gratitude, which I believe is critical for joy.

And if nothing else, it is one way that we have let them know who's in control. And as a parent, that's really the name of the game.