life as a food source

My entire day is consumed by one activity - producing milk.  Everything I do is impacted by that one activity.  Our current plan is to feed the babes as often as possible (most every feed, if they're awake, they spend some time with Mom).  They always supplement with milk or formula.  If they are super sleepy, they get tube fed, whether for the initial feed or the supplement.  So, far, there hasn't been significant improvement in the amount they are feeding by mouth, Rafa still gets half his feeds by tube and Sylvia every once in awhile, more often supplements, she usually takes most of her feed by mouth. 

Then, every 3 hours, whether I've spent any time feeding the kiddos or if it's in the middle of the night, I'm trying to produce as much milk as possible.  And that's incredibly exhausting.  The huge benefit is that Rafa has stopped spitting up, which is likely due to his getting most of his feeds as mama milk rather than formula.  He also feeds better with mama milk.  So, we're letting him steal some of sister's share since she mostly eats like a champ, even if it's formula.  Overall, they are still growing, so that's positive.  The docs also continue to increase their feeds and they're tolerating them well.  They just aren't eating enough by mouth (they have to supplement through the tube feeds) so that we can continue on this trend in the comfort of our home rather than in NICU.  

The other side effect of feeding so many people is that I eat constantly.  So, pretty much, I pump, feed, eat, and am exhausted all day long.  Ah, the life of a food source.


Some good news, Sylvia has officially passed her bilirubin/jaundice tests, so they won't test that any more and she has no risk of having to go under the lamp.  Yay!  Rafa gets tested again tomorrow morning, so hopefully we'll have good news on his front, too. 

It has been wonderful spending time with our little miracles and getting to know them and love on them.  D has been a wonderful dad, eager to change diapers, helping wash all the pumping equipment and bottles, getting me food, and generally helping with all the new tasks (as well as cleaning, laundry, cooking, running errands and other tasks that carry on).  It was especially bittersweet to see him after he burped Rafa tonight because he didn't want to put him back in his crib and just wanted to hang on to him forever.  There are times when it's hard to leave our kids in the NICU, even though we know it's the best thing for them.  Remind us of this when it's 4am and neither of us wants to get up to soothe a crying baby...